The Nationals Enquirer

No Mann is an Island

"It's not about me. Every day I go out there, they give me the opportunity to go out there and pitch for as long as I can. I'm fortunate that I pitched the seventh inning today and we had a chance to win all day."
(Jason Bergmann, via Washington Times, 4/30/2007)

Mets 1, NAAAts 0: Bergmann brilliant again (except with the bat), but botched bunts, blown chances, John Maine rule the day.

Road trip! NAAAts head west to San Diego for three. John Patterson already blaming jet lag for his poor performance tonight.

(AP Photo/Nick Wass)

Fail to the Chief

"We let them off the hook."
(Manny Acta, via Washington Times, 4/29/2007)

Chad Coughs Up Another W; Jerome Williams saves his job for at least another 5 days.

Mets 6, NAAAts 2 in 12: Hey Jesus, Schneider would've blocked the plate in the 9th.

(Photo by Greg Fiume/Getty Images)

First Things First

"I actually was looking at a [newspaper] today and I saw something in there about it. I didn't know it was actually a record and all that stuff. Glad it's over."
(Austin Kearns, via Washington Times, 4/28/2007)

Holy Crap! NAAAts Finally Score in First Frame!

What's next? A 1-2-3 9th by the Chief? Yes!

NAAAts 4, Mets 3: Mets lose because of Endy Chavez, apparently.

Stage set for classic match up tonight at RFK: The Future Hall of Famer vs. The Future Columbus Clipper

(AP Photo/Nick Wass)

Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3

"Get my oil changed, and I'm ready to go."
(Ray King, via Washington Post, 4/26/2007)

Win, Loss, Win, Loss, Loss, Loss, Loss, Win

After more than a week off-air, The Nationals Enquirer is ready to resume broadcasting...

Enquirer answers the mailbag!

It's been a while, and we're a few days late, but it's time to answer the latest edition of the Nationals.com mailbag! Here's how it works: 1. Fans email their questions to Nationals beat writer Bill Ladson at MLB.com. 2. We copy and paste the questions over here. 3. We make a half-assed attempt at answering the questions.

As always, keep those e-mails coming to Nationals.com, and we'll keep copying and pasting them over here and giving our half-assed answers. Thanks a bunch.

What's the deal with right-hander John Patterson? I know it's early, but he barely reaches 90 miles per hour on his fastball.
-- W. M., Woodbridge, Va.

Great question. The deal is that Patterson is still hurt. Actually, that's not true. I don't know. I've stopped trying to figure out Patterson.

When will Michael O'Connor and Jason Simontacchi come off the disabled list?
-- D.O., Arlington, Va. 

Great question. Simontacchi is working in extended spring training and will be ready to replace someone in the rotation in May probably. The team is still trying to track down O'Connor, who got left behind on one of the Winter Caravan stops...so sometime later this summer?

With Ryan Church hitting the way he is, how long do you give it until general manager Jim Bowden trades him?
-- D. F., Seaford, Del.

Great question. Bowden won't trade him.

Two years ago, then-Nationals pitcher Livan Hernandez had a fit and said he was done for the season. He wouldn't say why he was upset, but he said he would say why after the season. The day after his temper tantrum, he calmed down. I was wondering if he eventually said anything about it or what the reasons were that he almost quit on the team.
-- C. D., Montreal

Great question. I think it was because his car got broken into. Or was that Marlon Anderson? Or Marlon Byrd? This much I know: it was one of the Marlons. What was your question?

What is Alex Escobar's prognosis for returning to the Nationals?
-- S. J., Washington

Ha ha, good one.

Cal Ripken made the change from third base to shortstop successfully. Why not shift Ryan Zimmerman to short, insert Kory Casto at third and use an outfield of Church, Logan and Kearns?
-- C. N. W., Keswick, Va.

Huh?

What will be the underlying philosophy behind the Nationals' First-Year Player Draft class this year -- high-ceiling high school prospects or more-ready-for-the-Majors college prospects?
-- J. E., Washington

Great question. Pitching, pitching, pitching!

The Streak is Over

You know the routine: Tough first inning by [insert name of NAAAts starter here] dooms NAAAts

NAAAts lose 6-4 despite Braves' attempt(s) to throw the game away

Eaton! Bergmann! Battle for last place in NL East begins tomorrow in Washington!

Kudos to Calvert County, MD fan Dave Lanham for suggesting that Nationals wear VT caps; kudos to Stan Kasten for listening and getting it done. A respectful move by the Nationals. Meanwhile, our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families...

(AP Photo/Kevin Wolf)

The Voice of Reason?

"People, they're not gonna be the worst team."
(andrewtanner07, via YouTube, 4/10/2007)

Forget Boswell, listen to Tanner.

• Chico always dreamed of beating Chipper.
• Winning streak alive and well at 2: Jerome Williams hopes to pull a Bergmann on Smoltz and Braves tonight.
• Da Meat Hook honors Jackie in style.
• A report from the field from one of the 36 people in attendance last night at RFK. You're all insane.
• "This is what me contemplating Chris Snelling's baserunning would look like if I were a squirrel."
• "All that stuff -- the baby oil, the Vaseline some players rub on -- it helps for a while."

(Editor's note -- original post modified/embedded clip removed.)

(AP Photo/Nick Wass)

 

Chic-0-0-0-0-0-1

"I really didn't think he would make it five innings."
(Manny Acta, via Washington Post, 4/16/2007)

A walk in the park (actually, 5 walks, but who's counting?); First big league win for Matt Chico!

NAAAts win 5-1, crawl out of NL East basement.

(AP Photo/Nick Wass)

Not the Best Start for the $136M Man

"We do love Alfonso."
(Stan Kasten, via Washington Post, 8/1/2006)

Soriano struggling so far in Windy City; can't hit, can't catch, strains his hammy.

Somewhere, Stan Kasten is smiling.

(AP Photo/Jerry Lai)

The Winning Streak is Over

"I was cold. I was tightening up. I didn't want to put the team in a situation of me trying to be a hero or anything else. We're trying to win games. I felt like I was going as far as I could go at that point. And I handed it over to the guys who were fresh and could maybe contribute a little better than I could at that point."
(John Patterson, via Washington Times, 4/14/2007)

Mets down NAAAts 3-2.

The Reluctant Ace was good, but he bailed out early; 'pen couldn't hold lead. 

2-160 still a possibility.

(AP Photo/Julie Jacobson)