The Nationals Enquirer

BLOCKBUSTER!

"He's a Major League shortstop -- .250, .260 hitter. He can really play shortstop with a gun. It's hard to get middle infielders who can do that."
(Jim Bowden, via Nationals dot com, 7/31/2008)

Nationals acquire Alberto Gonzalez!

Let the over-analysis begin: Earlier today, the Nationals acquired Alberto Gonzalez from the Yankees for minor league pitcher Jhonny (not a typo) Nunez. That's right, a can't-hit, real, live 25 yr. old slick-fielding "Major League shortstop". With a gun, too.

Boooooooooo! Here are five reasons why you should hate this deal:

1. Isn't the idea to stockpile young arms?
2. If this move is insurance for the trip Guzman is about to make to the DL, because FLop is merely minutes from being let go, then shame on you Jimbo for f#cking up a month ago when the Orioles were willing to give you a bag of baseballs and some autographed Cal Ripkin memorabilia for FLoP, straight up.
3. Pitching, pitching, pitching!
4. Great, just what the doctor ordered: another light-hitting middle infielder!
5. Boring! What the hell happened to the blockbuster you promised, Jim?

(AP Photo)

JIMBO SOUNDS DEFEATED.

Judging from his comments yesterday, it sure sounds like ol' Trader Jim has been beaten down by the reality of the lack of options available to him as the non-waiver trade deadline approaches at 4PM today...

"For the most part, there isn't much of a market. Rauch was our one marketable player that we traded. Look, we are a last-place team. A lot of them are underachieving. That's not surprising." (Jim Bowden, via Nationals dot com, 7/30/2008)

Maybe most concerning, though, is the exchange on Nationals Journal around the status of top pick Aaron Crow...

UP IN SMOKE

"I walked a 45-year-old pitcher; that's completely inexcusable. And you all saw what happened after that: base hit, base hit, home run, end of the ballgame for me."
(Tim Redding, via Washington Post, 7/31/2008)

Phillies 8, NAAAts 5: Tim's trade value tumbles; nightmare fifth = eight losses in a row for Manny's non-rock-bottom cellar dwellers.

That sound you heard in the 5th inning was Tim Redding's trade value imploding. See you again in 2009, Tim (maybe that's not such a bad thing)!

(AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Apparently the head groundskeeper hasn't checked the standings in a while

All quiet on the trading front at this hour, but in the interest of rumor mongering, which is our sport of choice this time of year, here are a couple of quick snippets...

MLB Trade Rumors has this story linked up from the Denver Post, indicating that the Rockies are interested in the Tim Redding Journeyman Express. Ken Rosenthal reminds us about the incentive for dealing the the Ace of the Nat's staff, and any other vets they have hanging around:

Incentive for the Nationals to trade right-hander Tim Redding, left-hander Odalis Perez and any other veteran parts: A better chance at "earning" the No. 1 pick in next year's draft and selecting San Diego State right-hander Stephen Strasburg.

On his blog, Jon Heyman of SI.com had this to say about Adam Dunn in a 12:34PM update:

Finally, there appears to be some action on Reds slugger Adam Dunn. An NL source says at least two teams are expressing interest in the formerly unwanted star.

Bet you a crisp $5 bill I can name the GM of one of those teams. Here's a hint: his name rhymes with Bim Jowden.

Last, but certainly not least, to help clarify the headline above, we stumbled on this little glimmer of hope earlier while scouring the ends of the earth for trade rumors involving Paul Lo Duca. Despite hitting rock bottom (don't tell Manny we said that), and being unofficially eliminated from the 2008 post-season a few days ago by Baseball Prospectus' post-season odds simulator (generated daily? by simulating the remaining games in the season a million times, H/T to Talking Chop for pointing out the Nats' demise the other day), apparently there is still reason to hold out hope for the Nationals to get back in the pennant race this season. Or, at least that's what head groundskeeper Larry DiVito told Athletic Turf News on the heels of an announcement that a company has donated a bunch of a drug called CoreTect to keep the cherry trees healthy at Nationals Park:

"One of the benefits of CoreTect is that we are able to ensure that our cherry trees will survive the stress of summer with just one application. Protected by CoreTect, they will be just as beautiful in October when, hopefully, we’re in the pennant race."
(Larry DiVito, head groundskeeper, Washington Nationals, via Athletic Turf News, 7/30/2008)

FACE IT, PAUL, NOBODY'S INTERESTED...

"I'm probably getting shopped around, obviously, but whether teams are interested or not, that's their thing. I'm healthy. I feel great. It's just a matter of getting at-bats, trying to get into a rhythm. I think a lot of teams are backing off because they think I might be still injured, and they want me to catch and I'm not catching. So I have to see what happens."
(Paul Lo Duca, via Nationals dot com, 7/29/2008)

...but give it another week or two, and with any luck you'll be released.

(AP Photo by Dave Einsel)

SILVER LINING

"I can't do anything about the hitting. No one can do anything about the hitting."
(Collin Balester, via Washington Post, 7/30/2008)

Phillies 2, NAAAts 1: 7 in a row, but look on the bright side, they scored!

(AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

GOOD GOD. PLEASE, NO.

Ugh. Not Miggy. Why on Earth would the Nationals be scouting Miguel Tejada (owed $13 mil next year)!?

Via Houston Chronicle, (via MLB Trade Rumors):

Heading into Thursday’s non-waiver trade deadline, the talks will heat up. The Washington Nationals, New York Mets, Texas Rangers, San Francisco Giants and Detroit Tigers had all planned to watch the Astros’ game against the Cincinnati Reds on Monday night.

Ah, it's the time of the year for baseless speculation! Given that teams haven't been beating down the doors to trade for the allegedly tradable commodities  (and we say 'allegedly' because Lo Duca and Lopez are included on the list with Redding and Perez), can one read into any possible interest by the Nats in Tejada as a sign that Guzman is still being shopped, and that Jimbo is concocting one final trading deadline blockbuster in a desperate attempt to save his job?

Actually, we're a little surprised there's been almost no talk swirling around Jimbo making another push for Adam Dunn. Ken Rosenthal had this to say early this morning:

Reds left fielder Adam Dunn hit his 30th home run on Monday night, tying the Phillies' Ryan Howard for the major-league lead. His .941 OPS ranks ninth in the NL. And his defense, by most measures, has improved. Nobody wants him?

Not even Jim Bowden? Maybe that's why Nats' scouts were watching the Astros & Reds last night, not for Miggy, but for Dunn?

Meanwhile...

• Balester tries to stop the bleeding tonight as legions of overweight Phillie fans in Chase Utley jerseys descend on Nationals Park.
• Elijah Dukes, on the fast track.
• He's saying all the right things, but it's a long road back for The Chief.
• NY Times story on the spotlight fading in post-756 life for Mike Bacsik. Reality sets in: "They’ve moved on, which has let me know that I need to move on."

(AP Photo/Pat Sullivan)

DA MEAT HOOK: GROUNDED

"As I said, it's a two-pronged mission. You can't do the second prong until you do the first prong."
(Jim Bowden, via Washington Post, 7/28/2008)

Even a big hug with Jim Bowden won't save Dmitri Young this time. Nor will a massage.

In related news, the Nationals have fired Richard Simmons as Da Meat Hook's personal trainer.

From Nationals dot com:

...Dmitri Young is still having problems controlling his diabetes and will remain in Washington, D.C., for the time being.

In fact, general manager Jim Bowden went so far as to say that Young is not feeling well and unable to travel to Florida to get into shape. There is no timetable as to when Young will return to action.

It's sad, really. Like Jim said above, you can't do the second prong until you do the first prong. And you certainly can't do the third prong until you do the second prong. And the fourth prong? No way, not without prongs three and one. So, the big guy (Dmitri Young) can't or won't fly to Florida to get in "first class physical shape" until the first prong is accomplished. But let's be honest: see you in Viera in 2009, Dmitri. There probably won't be a second prong this year. Dmitri Young is done for 2008 (and to be honest, hopefully that's the worst news for Dmitri as he battles to get his diabetes under control), and each day that goes by, Jim Bowden is sweating that $10 million, 2 year extension he signed DY to just before the trading deadline last season.

And one more thing, Jim: remember, when Stan Kasten calls you into his office to fire you, if he tries to use Dmitri's extension against you, just remember this whopper from Stan in the aftermath, when he called that $10 million deal an "easy decision" (via Washington Post):

"The one thing I think we should be consistent about is that we are opportunistic," Kasten said. "If there is an opportunity to add a player, then we'll take it.

(AP Photo by Evan Vucci)

LA STORY, SAME OLD STORY

"Look, what makes rock bottom? We won two out of three in Atlanta and I didn't hear the question. How many games make rock bottom? I mean, losing 2-0, 1-0, is that rock bottom?"
(Manny Acta, via Washington Post, 7/27/2008)

Dodgers 2, NAAAts 0: Road trip from hell ends with a whole lotta zeros, but they're not rock bottom yet, says Manny! To recap, the last 18 innings have looked like this: 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0.

(Photo by Lisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images)

THUMBS DOWN

GUZ OUT WITH A BUM THUMB...

So, the question of the day is: how long before the announcement that Cristian Guzman is heading to the 15-day DL...which later turns into season ending surgery?

From Nationals dot com:

Guzman had an X-ray and it was revealed that he has a contusion in the thumb. Dr. Neal El Attrache examined the thumb in Los Angeles and suggested rest and treatment. Guzman is day-to-day.

Meanwhile, if there's even an outside chance of moving Guzman before the trading deadline, sitting out yesterday and today against the Dodgers can't help...there's this little snippet from this morning's Boston Globe which has us wondering:

One NL scout suspects the Dodgers have been exploring something with the Nationals on shortstop Cristian Guzman.

...despite what Chico (not Matt) relayed yesterday in Nationals Journal about Guzman's new contract rendering him untradable...

(AP Photo by John Bazemore)