The Nationals Enquirer

Stan Kasten says: Go Phillies!

 

(AP Photo. The Philadelphia Phillies are Stan Kasten's second favorite team in the NL East. But he'll always be a Brave at heart.)

Stan's Favorite Paying Customers 6, Big Market Team 1: Don't forget to hold your noses, Nats fans, as you root, root, root for the Phillies along with Stan Kasten this World Series.

Joe Buck (or was it Tim McCarver?) on FOX pointed out late in the game (while Cliff Lee still had his shutout going) that the Yankees were shut out at home in their brand spanking new ballpark just once in 2009: that would be June 18th against your Washington Nationals. Cliff Lee was fantastic last night, but Yankee Killers Craig Stammen, Ron Villone, Julian Tavarez, and Mike MacDougal were even better on June 18th!

Meanwhile...Hey! The umps got one right!

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Nats Fans Subject of Worst Reality TV Show Concept Ever?

(Photo by Nationals Enquirer staff. In this photo, throngs of blue-shirt clad Nationals fans celebrate the selection of Stephen Strasburg in the MLB Draft back on June 9th at Nationals Park. Good luck finding those same die-hard Nationals fans for a TV show.)

Move over, Danny Bonaduce!

A production company is looking to cast  "die-hard Nationals fans who have such an intense devotion to the lovable Nats that they have had trouble balancing their 'real life' responsibilities with their devotion for their team"  for a Reality TV show which at first glance seems to have the potential to redefine the meaning of Worst Reality TV Show ever. Yes, this one could blow even worse than the the ill-fated "Mr. Personality", hosted by Monica Lewinsky on FOX way back in 2003.

Here's the Casting Call scoop  from MASNSports dot com, which echos a similar email we received this morning in the Nationals Enquirer inbox:

Remember the scene in Fever Pitch where Jimmy Fallon nearly attacks his UPS guy for his season tickets? How about all the challenges he faces throughout the movie as he struggles to balance his baseball fandom with real life?

A local production company is looking to capture those types of moments in a new reality series about Nats fans. IMG Studios, a respected, established production company in Washington DC is looking for die-hard Nationals fans to appear in the series starting this offseason.

"The person or group of friends must find it hard to balance an active social life, romantic relationship, work or family with the "other person" (Nationals) in their life," said IMG Studios in their Casting Call.

The selected fans will be followed for a specific amount of time and should be comfortable with exposure.

To be considered, fans should send a biographical paragraph and photo to [email protected].

Look, with the exception of a few magical months in early 2005, times have been tough enough for Nationals fans ever since the Expos came to town...and isn't it bad enough that there's a forthcoming chick flick starring Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, and Paul Rudd  where Wilson plays a Nationals relief pitcher? Now, you want Nationals fans to be the subject of perhaps the worst concept for a Reality TV show in history? No mas.

We have a better concept for a Reality TV show about the Nationals: rehire Jim Bowden, resign Julian Tavarez and Jose Guillen, then move them all into a Dupont Circle studio for the season with the Racing Presidents, a refrigerator full of beer, and a Segway, and watch the magic happen.

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Exclusive Footage of Nationals Managerial Search

That's right...the deafening sound of crickets. If only we could follow Jim Bowden's Tweets (he blocked us), then maybe we'd have a better idea about what the heck is going on.

Meanwhile...more news yesterday on Mike Rizzo's remodeling work in his front office: he hired Kasey McKeon as Director of Player Procurement and Jay Robertson as Special Assistant to the General Manager. Go read Phil Wood over at MASN Sports dot com if you feel the need to know more about McKeon and Robertson.

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Strasburg Hopes To Resurrect Pro Career

(AP Photo. No pressure, Stephen. No pressure.)

"If people want to judge the pitcher I'll be one year, five years, 10 years down the road based on a couple of outings here, that's out of my control. I'm just here trying to improve my game in every way possible. ...I just want to have a fun time, and learn as much as I can."
(Stephen Strasburg, via Nationals dot com, 10/27/2009)

Happy Days Are Here Again!

After an absolute nightmare in his second Arizona Fall League start, Stephen Strasburg took the first step toward salvaging his professional career with a reportedly sparkling effort against the Surprise Rafters in his third AFL start. Looks like there just might be time for Strasburg to resurrect his professional career. His line, etc.:

4.1 IP, 1 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 2 BB, 5K, 67 pitches (42 strikes)

Mark Zuckerman from the Washington Times was there, providing a running commentary of Strasburg's start over on Chatter  (apparently Zuckerman didn't get the memo that there's a football team in this town in desperate need of media coverage); his account of Strasburg's first inning deserves the Nationals Enquirer  copy/paste treatment:

1st inning-- OK, this is my first time seeing Strasburg in person, and I've got to say, it's an impressive sight. He just went through a scoreless inning, issuing a two-out walk to Brandon Laird but otherwise dominating. He struck out the first two batters, Daryl Jones and Jeff Bianchi, throwing three 100 mph fastballs in the process. He made Bianchi look silly on an 0-2 breaking ball in the dirt. Cleanup hitter Ike Davis was the only one to make sollid contact, sending a sharp liner right at second baseman Josh Bell to end the inning. So no runs, no hits, one left on base. 18 pitches, 10 strikes, at least three that hit triple digits.

So there you have it. Not only did SS pitch well, he managed to hit triple digits on the radar gun at least three times in the first inning. Keep it up, Strassy, and you just might prove to be a useful spare part pitching out of a major league bullpen someday!

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Zim, a.k.a. Peter Franchise, a.k.a. Mr. Walkoff, is now a.k.a. Mr. Web Gem

(Photo of TV by Nationals Enquirer staff. Ryan Zimmerman admires his hardware on last night's Baseball Tonight Web Gem Awards on ESPN. Real hardware, forthcoming?)

Gold Glove is next, right?

Ryan Zimmerman and the Washington Nationals cleaned up on last night's Baseball Tonight Web Gem Awards show. Zim was the top Web Gem points leader at third base, and led the majors overall with 19 Web Gems, good for 61 points; while the Nationals, worst or near the bottom in almost every defensive category imaginable, managed to win the team award with 44 Web Gems and 141 points. Guess it pays to make the highlight reel.

Zim - in a spiffy suit - handled himself quite well on TV, joining Baseball Tonight's Karl Ravech and John Kruk to review the 2009 highlight reel and dole out the awards over the hour-long show; he even enlightened Ravech and Kruk on the legend of Tony Plush and TP's penchant for nicknames (Peter Franchise, Charlie Chirplin, Freddy Physical, etc.)

Don't ask us to recount how the points are actually allocated or calculated; we're simply trying to bask in the glow of the Nationals winning *something* (even if it really is nothing) other than the rights to the #1 pick in 2010.  Tim Lemke of the Washington Times officially dubbed the Nats "The Web Gem Champs." We'll take it.

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Method Acta

 

(AP Photo by Tony Dejak. Manny Acta smiles at his introductory press conference today as he thinks about the fast one he just pulled on the Cleveland Indians. Three years guaranteed with a club option for 2013! He must give one hell of an interview!)

"A big shot is a little shot who keeps shooting. I'm ready to keep shooting."
(Manny Acta, via Cleveland Plain Dealer, 10/26/2009)

Pffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!

Ah yes, that's just Manny being Manny. Cleveland: get ready for more of that sort of quasi-inspirational garbage as the losses pile up.

The Indians introduced Manny Acta as manager today. And this is the last time Manny Acta's name gets mentioned here at The Nationals Enquirer until next June 11th-13th, we promise.

Meanwhile...yes, the Nationals manager search sounds strikingly similar to the sound of crickets chirping. Something must be about to happen...

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Too Manny Chiefs, Not Enough Indians

(Photo by Getty Images. Manny Acta is employed as a major league manager again.)

"We are very excited to have Manny Acta on board as our manager. After speaking with an impressive array of candidates, we feel that Manny is a very strong and experienced leader who possesses great energy and enthusiasm along with tremendous communication skills and a positive mindset that will command a presence in the dugout, clubhouse and with our fans."
(Mark Shapiro, via Cleveland Plain Dealer, 10/25/2009)

Are we really talking about the same guy?

Second Acta: Indians hire Manny Acta.

Somehow, Manny managed to parlay his putrid 158-252 record  in Washington (a grotesque 26-61 before he was finally canned mid-way through the 2009 season) into the position of  hottest commodity on the managerial market. (yeah, yeah, yeah, he had nothing to work with in Washington those 3 years, etc.)

Maybe that's not saying much about the market. Or the Indians. Then again, if you're looking for an experienced loser, look no further than Manny Acta.

But what's perhaps most surprising is that he would've been Astros manager if Drayton McLane would've given him 3 years. Drayton wouldn't. Cleveland did. End of story. How bad did the Astros want him? Let's ask Richard Justice of the Houston Chronicle:

Manny Acta was the guy they wanted. The Astros liked everything about him. His presence and personality. How he forged relationships with players. His ability to run a game.

I said from the beginning that there was no right answer in this search for a new manager. Manny Acta would have been terrific, but then so would Phil Garner, Bob Melvin, Tim Bogar, Jim Fregosi and a dozen or so others.

But the Astros settled on Manny Acta. Ed Wade and Tal Smith went through the list and the interviews and decided he should be the guy to lead the Astros through an important period in their history.

Wow ! So there was almost, like, a bidding war for Manny's services? Did we miss something, or something? Did all that losing just make us blind to what Manny Acta really is? Good luck with Manny, Cleveland. And good luck in Cleveland, Manny.

Now the bad news for Nationals fans is that Mattingly and Valentine are still in play for the Nationals job.

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If not Riggles, then Bob. Not Bobby or Don.

 

(Photo by Getty Images. The Nationals Enquirer says yes to Bob Melvin.)

If not Jim Riggleman, then...?

If Mike Rizzo is convinced he needs to make a change (and anonymous sources with no knowledge of the situation tell us he is); we're not interested in Don Mattingly. Or Bobby Valentine (but it sounds like that has little or no chance of happening, anyway). The Nationals Enquirer is officially endorsing Bob Melvin to be the next manager of the Washington Nationals. Why? Will a "lesser of all evils" explanation suffice?

Now, in his Thursday chat on Washington Post, Tom Boswell claims that Mike Rizzo has a serious man crush on Donnie Baseball; that Mattingly is the favorite should the Nats decide not to bring back Jim Riggleman. Boz also seems to have a bit of a man crush on Mattingly, and pretty much dismisses Bobby Valentine from the conversation; then got his O's mixed up, referring to Bob Melvin as Doug Melvin. Here's an excerpt:

Rizzo really likes Mattingly. If they don't hire Riggleman back, still the highest probability, it will probably be Don. ...Valentine will be interviewed but there is little chance he will be hired, though Kasten likes im well enough personally. But Bobby V has 100-pounds of Bowden-like baggage -- enemies left behind everywhere he's been. Do the Nats want to go down that road? No, they don't. They need to develope young talent not bring in a win-now high-pressure guy like BV. There must be a factory somewhere that grinds out Bobby V rumors. It is not going to happen. It is not even on the board. ...Doug Melvin, whom I've known since he caught for the O's, will also get a look. ...I'm a big Mattingly fan, have known him much longer than Riggleman, whom everybody likes.

Meanwhile...yesterday, Thom Loverro of the Washington Times pointed out that Mattingly isn't a good fit for Washington; says that Bob (don't call me Doug) Melvin would be a good choice, and that Bobby V. - like Boz said - has no shot. Here's an excerpt:

So Don Mattingly is a hot candidate for the Washington Nationals managing job. ...But I would be very suspect of handing this mess over to an inexperienced manager. ...Bobby Valentine's name has been thrown out there, but that's not going to happen, for a number of reasons, most importantly that the Lerner family won't pay the kind of money Valentine will be looking for.

So this much we know - it sounds like Bobby V. has no shot; Jim Riggleman has a shot; Don Mattingly is the sexy pick; and Bob Melvin is the unsexy pick.

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He's Human?

(Photo by Getty Images. Stephen Strasburg's second Arizona Fall League start was a bleeping disaster.)

"I haven't faced professional hitters my entire life. I'm sure there were times in college when my stuff wasn't very good and I got away with it. These guys can hit mistakes. This isn't college baseball. These are Double-A, top prospects in each of their organizations. They can all hit and all have a plan out there."
(Stephen Strasburg, via MLB dot com, 10/22/2009)

"Can I have my $15 million back?"
(Ted Lerner, via Nationals Enquirer, 10/22/2009)

Stephen Strasburg, Desert Dog.

Peoria Javelinas 9, Phoenix Desert Dogs 6. Strasburg's line, ugly: 2.2 IP, 7 H, 8 R, 7 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, 3 HR. 1 WP. 60 pitches, 36 for strikes.  Groundouts-flyouts, 4-0. No miracles.

Welcome to reality, Mr. Strasburg.

The only highlight for SS? Striking out Dustin Ackley (#2 pick in the 2009 Draft), on a 83 MPH curveball in the 2nd.

Oh well, there's always Bryce Harper in 2010!

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The bad news is: potentially more Scott Boras on TV.

 

(Photo of TV by Nationals Enquirer Staff. Nothing says October baseball like a well-placed Scott Boras on TV.)

Begone, Satan!

The only - and we mean ONLY - bad thing about the Angels beating the Yankees last night to force ALCS Game 6? The realization that we could potentially be subjected to even more games with Scott Boras posing for the camera in his seat (standing up) directly behind home plate at Angel Stadium of Anaheim -- in the event that the Angels make it out of the Bronx alive and go to the World Series.

Bad enough that the spectre of Scott Boras haunted Nationals fans all year long up until the midnight deadline for signing Stephen Strasburg on August 17th; but watching the Angels home ALDS/ALCS games with Boras's mug in every shot has been pure torture.

Oh, and what do you know? Another blown call by the umps this offseason!

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